I’ve never really known my direction in life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a massive planner, and I love to know what’s going on and when – I’m not the kind of girl who can just wing things. If we’re going out to dinner, I’ll be the one to book the table. I’ll be the one to book a taxi. If I’m going to a concert, I’ll even sit and work out exactly where I’m sitting so I know what to expect. I like to know things, and I like to be in control.
That’s where the problem comes. I’ve not really ever been in much control in where I’m going in life. Sure, I knew I wanted to carry on studying for a while. I knew university was something I needed to do, but I had no idea what I would study. I followed my brother’s footsteps and saw Geography was something I was OK at, so thought that’s what I’d do. Luckily for my brother, his Geography degree led him on to be a Geography teacher, and a good one at that. My other brother knew university wasn’t for him, found himself in an Apprentice scheme and soon bagged himself an office job. I’m the last one to grow up and find my ‘way in life.’ And it’s bloody scary.
I’ve always felt a bit lost at University. I spent the first year crying every time Jamie went home after a weekend visit. I hadn’t found ‘my group’ and wasn’t put with my best friends in halls. I met some lovely people nonetheless, but I discovered how shy I really was, and struggled to find my place. I was studying a subject I enjoy and still do, but when asked what I was going to do with that degree, I had no answer.
Fast forward to my final semester of my third and final year, and it’s a completely different situation. I’m so glad I stuck it out. It’s this year which I’ve finally found my feet. I’ve found ‘my people’ and I’ve taken risks and grown up a bit in the process. I’m a different person to the girl I was in 2015. Sure enough, I’m still a bit awkward and intimidated by a room full of people, but I’ve put myself forward for things I never thought I would. I’ve bit the bullet and just said ‘f**k it’! I’ve had a sit down, and really thought about my passions, where I want to be in 5 years and what I want to end up doing. Sure, I still don’t have a clear, definitive answer when people ask me what I’m doing with my degree, but at least I have an idea.
I guess what I’m trying to say is I’ve slowly, but surely, found my direction. I’m sat here now, knowing that in 5 years time I’ll be working for a great company, on something to do with Digital Marketing. It was screaming me in the face all this time – I’ve has this blog for 5 years and never would I have thought it would help me decide on my career path. I may not have taken a degree in the subject, but I’ve got all the skills and knowledge for it, so why the hell not?
Jacket – Ebay // Trousers & Shoes – ASOS // Top – Missguided
Do you know your direction? How did you come about it?