November 18, 2018

A private life is a happy life

A private life is a happy life | lucy-cole

Get your cup of tea boys and girls, it’s time for another think piece, and I think this one might be a two-parter…

As I grow older I understand the desire for privacy. Keeping to my own business and not wanting anyone to know certain things about me and my life. I truly believe a private life is a happy life.

I think back to when I was younger, I’d want everyone to know everything about me and about my life. So much so I’d usher people to ask me certain questions just so I could give them the answer. I wanted people to know when I was happy when I was sad, and every little inch of detail of what was going on in my life, whether they wanted to know it or not.

A private life is a happy life | lucy-cole

And it wasn’t just in person I wanted to share everything, it was online too, and I was. I’d tweet, facebook (remember the days when we’d use facebook statuses like we use tweets today?) everything.

Why was I giving these people, 95% don’t give a sh*t about me and my life, every single detail? I was giving them the opportunity to judge me and judge my life. It was almost as if I wanted not only attention but in some aspects approval too. I wanted approval that my life was cool and exciting, or that I too was struggling. I was feeding these people the habit of being nosey.. and who blames them? We’re nosey in nature.

A private life is a happy life | lucy-cole
A private life is a happy life | lucy-cole

It’s better to keep things private

Nowadays, I much prefer to keep life private. Sure, I’m a blogger, 50% of that is sharing my life online, but we’ll move onto that another time. But, I take an active effort in keeping a lot of my life private.

Real friendships

I believe some things should be kept between those who experience them, and keeping privacy in friendships adds meaning. If I share a special moment with my bezzie or with my boyfriend, sometimes it’s nice to keep it between just us.

Less influence, less judgement.

The more private, the less influence and less judgement. Judgement is something I really struggle with. I’m consistently worried about what people might think of me. Keep things private and that’s less of an issue.

Just because it’s not online, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

You don’t need to share everything on social media. I think more and more often now we realise social media isn’t real. Sure, parts of it are, but it’s designed in a way to create this perfect life. Just because you didn’t post on social media doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Value the important opinions.

When I was sharing everything with everyone, I inevitably got everyone’s opinions, even those I didn’t care or want. By keeping private, and choosing who you want to share with you’re able to value only the opinions of those you truly care about. They’re the only opinions that matter.

Now I’m not saying log off all your social media and never share anything with anyone ever again. I’m simply saying perhaps we should take more care in who we decide to tell what. Not everyone is your friend out there, and many might even be waiting for your downfall. Don’t give them that luxury. A private life means valuing moments without necessarily sharing them on social, it means meaningful friendships and it’ll ultimately mean happiness.

A private life is a happy life | lucy-cole

Pinafore – Primark | Coat – NAKD Fashion | Boots – ASOS

That was pretty deep. What’re your thoughts on privacy and happiness?

Lucy x

*This post contains gifted items.